Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Sunday Scribblings - "Teeth" and/or "Sleep"

A profession that I find really repugnant is dentistry. I know there are plenty of jobs that are worse in plenty of ways, but for some reason, just the thought of having to peer into strangers' mouths makes me shudder.

Call it weird, but there’s something about teeth that gives me the heebie-jeebies. I hated the idea of the Tooth Fairy. When I read a story by Enid Blyton as a kid (ok, as an adult too), where these little gnomes carved toys out of human children’s teeth for the fairy children to play with, it made me feel ill. I loved scary stories but disliked the horror comics because of the skeletons – specifically, the skulls with their grinning teeth. Ugh. And even as an adult, the thought of parents keeping their children’s baby teeth as keepsakes sends a shiver down my spine.

I wouldn’t be a dentist for worlds, not even for the money – and they do make a good deal of money, especially in the West where they seem pretty thin on the ground and even thinner in the NHS. Getting an appointment with a good dentist inside of 6 months is near impossible – you could get a politician to tell the truth quicker than that. Or perhaps not. In any case, cutting short the waiting time by going to a less busy – and presumably less competent - dentist wouldn’t be the wisest thing to do… not even if your teeth are ready to fall like overripe fruit. Dentists use drills on your teeth! Enough said.

But getting back to dentists and their job, it beats me how they can face going in to work, knowing that they will, for the most part, be in close proximity to the vilest breath and the rottenest teeth. Day after day after day. Well, I don’t see people with perfect teeth and gums spending much time with a dentist, do you? And halitosis is nothing to laugh at when you’re up against it. Some of my colleagues could stop a charging elephant dead at 10 yards – just by opening their mouth. My lung capacity has improved enormously since I started work here because I’ve had to hold my breath for minutes at a time in sheer self-defence. (You can avoid halitosic (new word alert!) colleagues for only so long in an open-plan office.) So, a job where you have to face (pun unintended) a sort of assembly line of open mouths and festering teeth is pretty much at the bottom of my list of dream jobs. Actually, it doesn’t even figure on the list.

There ARE worse jobs. You only have to read this to know. But for all that, I still wouldn’t want to be a dentist. Ever.

Which brings me to my dream job – that of a mattress tester. What I wouldn’t give to be paid to sleep!

13 comments:

Kamini said...

I agree completely. I once read somewhere that the profession of dentistry has the highest rate of depression!
Kamini

Anonymous said...

Kamini: And I totally understand why!

- Shyam

DJPare said...

Good stuff!

P.S. I used to date a dentist and she wasn't the happiest of people...

Heather said...

LOL I've never thought of it in this way, but I think I have to agree with you. Not a fun job to "face" every day.

Thanks for stopping by. Hope you have a great week!

brinda said...

am totally with you re dentists. but that perfect job you mention? sleeping on the job, as PART of the job, sounds lovely. but see, you won't be allowed to test ONE mattress a day. you'll have to keep waking up to test another, and another, and another and YET another mattress... not much joy then, no? (and this is assuming they want you to test ONLY the sleep-worthiness of the mattress...)as you see, i've already given this job much thought... :-)

Orange Fronkey said...

Aha!!! Glad I'm not the only one who thinks dentists got the ickiest jobs. I wouldn't even put my fingers in my own mouth... how i could put my fingers in others mouth? lol.. gross. I was telling my family this how on earth the dentists and dental hygenists do this and she's like.. "they wear gloves". oh by the way they also got masks on :P. I suppose when they get heaps of money being around smelly rotty thing is not that bad! lol

anyways... i think it'd be cool be a coroner.. but i'd have nightmares and the smell of death all over me.

mattress tester does sound like a dream job ;)

Kamini said...

Shyam,
I admit I'm cringing a bit as I write this, but you've been tagged. Check my site for details - it's a relatively painless one, which is why I took the liberty of visiting this honour (blight?) on you. Feel free to ignore this (as I have done to some earlier tags) if you don't feel like it.
Thanks!
Kamini

Anonymous said...

djpare: Now I wonder why that was... :)

Heather: Thank you!

Brinda: You're analysing a dream job wayyyyy too much! Leave me my little castles in the air, wont you? :)

Merino: Cool to be a coroner? Yikes! :)

Kamini: Gosh, I'd better do this tag soon! You're the second person to tag me to do it. :)

- Shyam

mumbaigirl said...

Mattress tester! I want that job too!

chronicworrier said...

You surely need assistants to test all the mattresses, yes??

Anonymous said...

MG: If ever there was such a job, imagine the competition! :)

Chronicworrier: Now there's an idea. Of COURSE I'll need assistants to test the non-sleeping portions of the mattress testing. (Brinda, take note!) :D

- shyam

keith hillman said...

I so agree with you. I can't bear watching people even clean their teeth, or look in the mirror when I clean mine!Yuc!

brinda said...

damn! yes, yes, didn't think of assistants.... yup. that's a perfect job then :-) i want!!