Friday, August 08, 2008

Sunday Scribblings - "Ask"

Questions to ask when you’re bored:

- Why do the numbers on telephone pads read from left to right, in increasing order, but those on calculators from right to left, in decreasing order?

- Does the word “thesaurus” have synonyms?

- Allah's male devotees are promised a heaven full of young virgins to dally with after they die; what happens to good Muslim women, where do they go and do they have a say in whom they get to dally with? Is there a selection of virgin Muslim men available for them?


- And if the virgins in Allah's heaven got there by virtue of their virginity, wouldn’t it be a fall from grace for them to be deflowered by recently arrived martyrs?

- When Muslim women are prohibited from sleeping with strange men on earth, why is it ok for them to do so in Allah's heaven?

- Why does Sir Paul McCartney have a Liverpudlian accent when he speaks but not when he sings?

- If you only use a towel to dry off after a shower, why would you ever need to wash it, since presumably you’ll be clean when you do use it?

- Can you be totally partial?

- How come the Nazis didn’t ever question the fact that Hitler, who said all good Aryans were blonde and blue-eyed, was himself brown-eyed and black-haired?

- Why is there a difference between assassination and murder when in both cases people do not die voluntarily?

- Why are lazy people called couch potatoes? Why not couch parsnips? Or couch carrots, or some other kind of root vegetable?

- Is there a difference between a bra and a bikini top?

- Can you arrest 7 for cannibalism because 7 ate 9?

- Why is laughter “canned” and not “bottled”?

- Why?

- Why me?

- Why not?

16 comments:

brinda said...

the mad association of manic mullahs is out hunting for you...

Tanya Gwen Minnick said...

Thought provoking post!
Good questions...I liked this a lot.
Be well
t

shyam said...

Brinda: D'you mind not leading them here? :)

Tanya: Thanks :)

meerkat said...

beti now for some gyaan (with added pedantry and pedagogy)

telephone/calculator layout
i did mistakenly think htat telephone keypads were different to make it similar to a rotary dial, i.e. no.s in the same order. but hte following website tackles this topic with great rigour.

http://www.vcalc.net/Keyboard.htm


- Does the word “thesaurus” have synonyms?

no, not in my thesaurus. in fact most words with a well defined meaning dont have synonyms (says me bravely)

- Allah's male devotees are promised a heaven full of young virgins to dally with after they die; what happens to good Muslim women, where do they go and do they have a say in whom they get to dally with? Is there a selection of virgin Muslim men available for them?

muslim women are not significant and as such dont matter in heaven. they will probably get refitted and recycled to provide succour to the martyrs. as such since they are objects and on top of that they dont have any sexual desires, they dont need any virgin young men.

- And if the virgins in Allah's heaven got there by virtue of their virginity, wouldn’t it be a fall from grace for them to be deflowered by recently arrived martyrs?

nope once they have fulfilled their purpose they can be recycled as before.

- When Muslim women are prohibited from sleeping with strange men on earth, why is it ok for them to do so in Allah's heaven?

as they are martyrs, it does not matter to the women. they should not sleep with strange infidels on earth. once they are married to a muslim man on earth, their registration is transferred and they are out of circulation

- Why does Sir Paul McCartney have a Liverpudlian accent when he speaks but not when he sings?

because it leads to more sales than singing in a scouse accent. or maybe because lots of people do sing pop music in an an american accent quite naturally as that is how they have grown up singing. so singing in a different accent is like using a singing technique, similar to what an opera singer might do singing in falsetto. etc. different parts of the brain than when you speak and comes naturally

- If you only use a towel to dry off after a shower, why would you ever need to wash it, since presumably you’ll be clean when you do use it?

presumably because there might be remnants of soap and shampoo residue. when you rub your freshly washed skin, dead skin cells can slough off into your towel. plus a damp towel can breed some bacteria and attract dirt when it is drying from the surroundings.

- Can you be totally partial?
a partial eclipse is always a partial one, i.e. totally a partial one . if it was a total eclipse, it would never be a partial eclipse.

- How come the Nazis didn’t ever question the fact that Hitler, who said all good Aryans were blonde and blue-eyed, was himself brown-eyed and black-haired?

i dont think it was a gold standard set in stone. it was just a prejudice which just got bandied about. that ideal was used for advertisement purposes. hitler, goebbels etc were never going to be poster boys. plus there was some conspiracy of hitler having jewish blood in him.

- Why is there a difference between assassination and murder when in both cases people do not die voluntarily?

assassination typically refers to a public killing of a well known entity. so assassination is a subset of murder.

- Why are lazy people called couch potatoes? Why not couch parsnips? Or couch carrots, or some other kind of root vegetable?

because potatoes for the most part are round while carrots, parsnips etc are long and thin. other root vegetables like beetroot are too full of water and red in colour.

- Is there a difference between a bra and a bikini top?

like the assassination/murder question, a bikini top is a subset of a bra which is able to withstand water.

- Can you arrest the number 7 for cannibalism because it ate 9?

i did not understand this question

- Why is laughter “canned” and not “bottled”?

canned laughter is well preserved but bottled laughter runs out of fizz

- Why?

why not?

- Why me?

why you?

- Why not?

Indeed

Granny Smith said...

After that last comment I'll try to be brief. I have to be. I'm laughing to hard to be totally coherent!

Annie said...

Loved the questions. The towel question is so "right on". And, oh yeah, what IS with Hitler and not fitting the stereotype? Always wondered about that.

danni said...

great list of questions - you'll be so busy next week if they post a prompt that asks for the answers!!!

b said...

This was just wonderful. In fact, I was just wondering about most of those things! Especially the virgin one...how does that work anyway! {:-)

b

b said...

meerkat...where is your blog? This is just hilarious!

b

rhbee1 said...

As an American, with all the misconceptions in place, I wonder how can you even dare to ask such questions in public? Isn't your life now in danger?

Patois said...

Some excellent puzzling questions you pose. And, wow, did it get Meerkat going or what?

Rambler said...

I really didnt know these things about islam..I guess I should read more about the philosophy behind them.

The Rat... said...

meerkat took pains to answer everything.. that too in a serious note... Ewww

neways... rhetoric questions are always my fav... but not the ones like wen my boss asks me "why are u so idiotic??"

Lekhni said...

And on the towel note, shouldn't soaps be sterilized before each use? Since they are cleaning us, aren't they incredibly dirty?

ss said...

I wanted to bow down before you - until I saw Meerkat's answers :)

??! said...

Eh please, if we're going to talk towels and soaps, let's talk toothbrushes.

Those things need to be sterilised before each use. Seriously.