Friday, December 14, 2007

Returned without thanks

This is how to screw up a child.

If this couple have had her for 7 years, from when she was just 4 months old, where would "culture shock" come in? Whose culture shock? The girl's, or theirs? And once again, what sort of culture shock appears after 7 years? Did they suddenly realise that Jade was Korean * shock* and not Dutch? Was the girl made to realise that she was different, or did she realise it herself? Did she feel wanted or was she discriminated against, compared to her non-blood-related siblings?

And now look, she doesn't speak what should have been her natural mother tongue – Korean. She DOES speak English and Cantonese, but she's neither English nor Chinese. Evidently she's also not Dutch. Where would she fit in? With what sort of family, of what ethnic origin? And for that matter, in what country?

Obviously I don't know if she was a difficult child… but I cant help feeling that any child who's been with a family practically from birth would have learned to live like that family, acquire that family's tastes in food, speech, habits and so on. It's nurture, not nature, that's paramount in the early years of childhood. Who knows, perhaps Jade might have been better off unadopted, and unconfused, in her native Korea.

3 comments:

kaminidandapani said...

I was appalled and disgusted when I read this. How dare the parents do this, as if their child were a piece of defective merchandise? I have heard of people returning pets (or worse, abandoning them) because they were more than they could handle, and I found that shameful and shocking, but this leaves me speechless and furious.

~nm said...

I really think its atrocious to say something like that when you have had the child with you since a few months of age. Its trying to hide your parenting fiasco.

Anonymous said...

Disgusting, disgusting....
I realize some children can be difficult. but this loooks like a case of i have got my own children, so taeke this oneback...

how do they sleep at night?

-S