When I'm in the driving seat

against all established convention, my number one rule for cyclists (bi-, not motor-) is:

(1) To be, first and foremost, sat at home. 

This way, I need not worry about them being out on their bicycles at all.

If (1) is not possible, my number two rule is: 
(2) To ride only on the pavement. 

This way, I need not worry about them being on the road. 

If (1) and (2) are not possible, my number three rule is:
(3) They should be the slow-moving, unfit, huffing-and-puffing kind. 

That way, they're not zipping around at 25-30 miles an hour on main roads under the erroneous impression that they're equal to moving cars that are trying to pass them but can't get up enough speed between oncoming cars to actually get past them (the cyclists) because they (the cyclists) are zipping along at that exact speed which is amazing for pedal power but is not in the least amazing for someone driving a car. 

Do you see why some motorists (obviously those less patient, kind or even-tempered than I) are overcome by road rage when a skinny cyclist in ridiculous headgear and tight-fitting neon clothes on a racing bike doesn't allow them to get past?