Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Sunday Scribblings - "For richer for poorer

I’m feeling cynical (after reading about one too many acrimonious divorces and celebrity marriage meltdowns in various trashy magazines. Also, I’m not feeling very inspired and the topic hasn’t really fired my imagination. Maybe it's just mental laziness. Anyway, I can’t even begin to talk about the flow of creative juices, because it’s one trickle short of drought around here… however, here’s my really belated take, just so I can say that I averted the drought this time:

Marriage vows - What they say (and what I think they really mean)

I, [gold-digger] , take you, [my rich sucker] ,
to be my husband [only because bigamy is unlawful and therefore I can’t marry more than one rich sucker at a time],
to have and to hold [your wealth, mainly – and you if I must]
from this day forward [too bad it couldn’t have been sooner]
for better, for worse [it will be the worse for you if things don’t get better]
for richer, for poorer [YOU can get poorer; I signed on for richer, pal]
in sickness and in health [in sickness? Do I look like a nurse?]
to love, cherish, and obey [I love your lovely money, which I will cherish. As for obey - as long as what you want is what I want, all will be well]
till death us do part [it will be an unnaturally quick parting if you get poorer, sick or worse]
according to God's holy law. [riiiiiight]
In the presence of God I make this vow. [I mean every word in these parentheses]

6 comments:

floreta said...

i wonder if you believe in monogamy? or just the idea that people can be together so long 'forever'.. i'd like to believe so. sometimes i waver though..

shyam said...

Floreta: Oh I do, I believe in monogamy. I hope to live "happily forever after" with my husband and I dont plan to ditch him at the first signs of trouble either. Touch wood, none so far... ;)

Teesu (very very Indian, very very good) said...

Hmmmmm. Interesting takes on vows...and probably true even if they don't know it at the time!

Asma Ahsan said...

That is one seriously humourous piece - :) Very very nice!

CW said...

Hilarious! Unfortunately I'm gonna be thinking of this whenever I see vows being exchanged!

Anu said...

Hey Shyam,

Great to hear from you again! I'd written my rant of a post during the season, which explains the crabbiness, but I'm glad to say things are looking up-at least where my dad is concerned. Thanks for the well wishes.

I hear you; come September, the shops are littered with eyesores after eyesores-first for that dreadful Halloween, then Thanksgiving, and finally, that nadir of all cliches-Xmas. Mass commercialism has taken over any semblance of sentiment, as you say. Spend, and ye shall be blessed-that is the motto.

Thankfully, there is the vacation, indeed.

Happy New Year, and yes, I shall strive to keep writing. :)

Cheers

P.S-Love your take on the bilge people come up with for marriage.