Sunday Scribblings - "For richer for poorer

I’m feeling cynical (after reading about one too many acrimonious divorces and celebrity marriage meltdowns in various trashy magazines. Also, I’m not feeling very inspired and the topic hasn’t really fired my imagination. Maybe it's just mental laziness. Anyway, I can’t even begin to talk about the flow of creative juices, because it’s one trickle short of drought around here… however, here’s my really belated take, just so I can say that I averted the drought this time:

Marriage vows - What they say (and what I think they really mean)

I, [gold-digger] , take you, [my rich sucker] ,
to be my husband [only because bigamy is unlawful and therefore I can’t marry more than one rich sucker at a time],
to have and to hold [your wealth, mainly – and you if I must]
from this day forward [too bad it couldn’t have been sooner]
for better, for worse [it will be the worse for you if things don’t get better]
for richer, for poorer [YOU can get poorer; I signed on for richer, pal]
in sickness and in health [in sickness? Do I look like a nurse?]
to love, cherish, and obey [I love your lovely money, which I will cherish. As for obey - as long as what you want is what I want, all will be well]
till death us do part [it will be an unnaturally quick parting if you get poorer, sick or worse]
according to God's holy law. [riiiiiight]
In the presence of God I make this vow. [I mean every word in these parentheses]