Sunday Scribblings - "Telephone"

I think it’s an overrated appliance, the telephone. I’ve very rarely had long conversations on it – partly because I’ve never known what to say beyond whatever was required to be said, and partly because my grandfather would keep an eagle eye on me (and a ferocious frown on his face) to monitor the length of the call. It didn’t matter whether I made the call (increased phone bill) or took the call (no charge to phone bill). To him, it was all a waste of time.

To my lasting regret, much as I wanted to flout his autocracy by gabbing on the phone for ages, I couldn’t – I never was one for small talk. Considering that my granddad was the sort of person whose phone conversations were about as long as it took to say “Yaaru? Ellam sowkyama? Vera onnum illaye? Vechchudatta?” (“Who’s that? Is everything fine? Anything else? Ok, shall I put it down?”), I guess it’s not surprising that I ended up so tongue-tied myself. Nature AND nurture. Ha.

I have a cell phone now, but I rarely use it to speak to anybody – other than essential calls, that is. I don’t particularly like texting, and I absolutely loathe the texting lingo (especially when it’s carried over into emails and letters). Now that I drive, I carry my phone for emergencies (like when my car stopped dead right at a busy roundabout and I had to call Pete for help). It’s useful if I’m meeting somebody somewhere and need to ask directions, or let them know I’m running late, or whatever. I’ve also taken a few photos with it, since Pete went to the trouble of getting me a phone that has an excellent camera. I use its alarm function to wake myself up in the morning. Sometimes I play tennis or golf on it. Even more rarely I listen to the music that’s been uploaded on to it. And that’s about all the use I require from my cell phone.

I know how all this sounds, but I’m not a Luddite. Honest. I have nothing against technology or using it. I just don’t find a cell phone as essential as, say, my computer. Man, I would go crazy without a computer and my emails and the Internet!

One last thing... ever since I heard a song from the movie Indian which begins "Telephone dhun mein hasne waali" – literally translating to “She who laughs like a telephone ring” or perhaps "She whose laugh is like a telephone ring" - I’ve wondered what she would have sounded like. I mean, there are so MANY ringtones for cellphones, apart from the various songs and tunes and whatnot. Even the old-fashioned dial/digital telephones didn't (don't?) all have the same ring sound. So… would she be trilling when she laughed? At what pitch? Long or short rings? Would she get louder with each successive laugh? And how would anybody put up with more than a second of listening to that laughter without strangling the b*tch - er, woman? Most of all, what excruciatingly stupid lyrics for a song!